When I was in the heart of hating my OCD and trying to understand what was going on, I found a peace in learning. I was also wishing some people were with me when I found these resources to see the truth of this monster. These pieces told me so much, educated me, reassured me in a good way, and helped me find a peace where I thought my brain was betraying me.
“OCD is a disorder of catastrophic overreaction to normal thoughts”
What advice do you have for someone with similar obsessions who may be avoiding intimacy because of them?
Transparency. That’s the most important thing. Because of my distance due to fears of intrusive thoughts, my ex thought there was something wrong with her. It led her down a depressive cycle. It’s really important to share these thoughts with your partner. Beyond that, there are tips and tricks that I’ve learned that might help people. Mindfulness. Focus on the breath. When thoughts get disruptive and start to avalanche, pull your partner closer, go slow, engage in foreplay, live in the moment, don’t worry about the end result. Mindfulness is really key to being able to enjoy a sexual experience. To let the thoughts pass and stay in the present.
Notes From an ROCD podcast
affected him since 21, anxiety of after date-is she the one? do i love her? couldn’t enjoy the process and always something off
-could happen with parents and friends as well
-cold and detached, felt desire to run before anything happens
-hard to see through anxiety, obligation and feeling trapped
-anxiety remained stronger because it mattered with you
-anxious thoughts are against what your ego wants and that’s why it’s so painful
-Speaker was a romantic so that’s why OCD attached to relationships for him
-main difference is constant rumination and reassurance seeking
–not the relationship it’s the OCD, the fear
-anxious about types of clothes you wear, rightness of relationship but reality of it is if i didn’t like you i would have ended it
-our brain says relationships are dangerous but they are not
-intelligence of partner, purse used, haircut-flood and try to scare your brain, say it is not scary to me so shut up
-so hard when you get scary thoughts about someone you care about and harder to admit to anxiety and agree with it
–said stay in the relationship, stay dating. don’t end it
-accept and anxiety will get worse but then get better
-sometimes they will tell you horrible things but its not because they want to its because their brain is bullying them
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