When you feel some internal unrest, you can either wallow in it and focus on those feelings or you can do something about it. For a while now I have focused on what I don’t have and just hyper-focused on one area of my life, relationships. I had a nagging reminder of being single despite not wanting to be and wondering how I will find someone I want to do life with. I have found joy in other parts of my life and my professional world feels very solid right now but I was having trouble seeing those things. I was tunnel visioned with eyes set on one thing, thinking it is the last piece to the puzzle…..but we are never finished.

That one thing would not solve my internal unrest. That one thing would not be “all” I want. It’s ok that I crave it. I am ready, but it is not ok for it to negate other parts of my life. It is not ok to hyper focus so you forget the other things going for you and the other things that fulfill you.

I was watching “Regular Heroes” on Amazon Prime last night, a docuseries about celebrities recognizing everyday people who are working and giving during the COVID pandemic, and I became aware of how self-centered I had become. I have been so focused on my internal world and what I wasn’t thrilled with, that I have lost sight of what others are going through. There is such a large world out there and so many people are struggling. There are so many people in need of help and positive energy that I decided I needed to turn my energy outward. If I will be “worried” about sometihng it should be put to good use and for the benefit of others.

I have seen so many posts about grateful people who receive money or goods in the time of need and it puts everything in perspective. Although there are limitations to what I can, or feel comfortable doing during this time, I am dedicating time to finding ways to give back, pay it forward, and make someone else smile!


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