“Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.”
I read that the other day and it was like “YES!” If you want to understand mental health, mental struggles, mental well-being, wellness in general. Hell, if you want to understand human beings, here you go!
Anxiety is all about fear but if we don’t know what we fear, or don’t take the time to understand the root cause of the anxiety, it can eat us alive. Palms sweaty, insomnia, heart racing, lack of appetite, nauseous-the feeling is real. And then we focus on the feeling and just want, so desperately, to get rid of it and not feel it ever again. So we exercise, we journal, we vent to friends, sometimes we drink or do drugs, and we numb. But, it comes back. Inevitably, it returns. So, what then?
Do you go through the same patterns you went through to get “rid” of it before? At what point do you have to pause and realize that the patterns aren’t serving you and you need to find another way to figure out what’s going on?
That quote above only works if you put it into practice. Dig deep. Peel back layers. Ask questions. Be open to answers. Discover the need. Focus on the cause. Only then will you feel the true change.