Push You Out, Pull You Back In

"...And got hands like an ocean. Push you out, pull you back in... Cause I got issues, but you got 'em too. So give 'em all to me and I'll give mine to you. Bask in the glory of all our problems 'cause we got the kind of love it takes to solve 'em..."           …

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Fighting Your Own Fears

Recently I announced that an article I wrote was published on an international website and that announcement exposed me. It exposed things I struggle with, it exposed intimate details about myself that otherwise I wouldn't share with the world, it made me vulnerable and open for critique, but yet it made me, me. Of course …

Don’t Resist

Face the doubt. Face the fear. Face the anxiety. Let it happen. Feel it, Embrace it. Welcome it. For it is what gets you through. If you struggle with social anxiety, OCD, general anxiety or anything that just gets in your way, face it. Don't run. Resisting something, trying to make sense of it, trying …

Driver

  One thing I fear the most is what others think about me. Am I smart enough? Pretty enough? Skinny enough? Do I fit in? Are people talking about me? My head is on a constant swivel and the social anxiety gets the best of me at times. Who is talking? What are they saying? …

I Don’t Even Know

How about the times that you just don't even know how you feel. There are so many things happening around you, so many decisions, so many feelings, so many responsibilities you just kinda shut down to all of them and deny them all...that's a familiar place for me. Processing and thinking about certain things isn't …

Commitment

Commitment. The word that I can't dissect very well. Is it fear? Is it not for me? Is it timing? I feel a somewhat loss of independence. I struggled to be me and to be me with someone else. Couldn't find the balance. Couldn't settle. I am so used to being alone, depending on myself to …

Fear of Feeling

"I am independent." "I like being on my own." "I am not a relationship kinda girl." Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...excuse, excuse, excuse. What these should say is "I have had to be strong for myself for so long that I can't imagine allowing someone else to be strong for me and with me." "I …

Relaxing was my goal

Smiles. Laughter. Responsibility. Adventure. Risk. Vulnerability. Calm. mixed in with much less, but still present Anxiety. Fear. Self-consciousness. Doubt. Depression. Lonely. Confused. I can honestly say I am beginning to shift the weight of the balance beam to the desired side. My pH is changing and my mindset is healthier. Time, patience, hard work, and grit. One of …

Being a Child of Divorced Parents

I never knew how, or if, it affected me. I didn't know my father growing up so I figured if I never knew him, and never went from having him in my life to not having him, then how could it affect me? I never thought about it, I never was plagued when I saw …