Finding Balance

It wasn't until I found a balance that I started to find me. I used to be all about school. A 92 wasn't good enough if someone else got a 93. My head would be on a constant swivel of trying to see what grades other people got to be able to compare my grade, …

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Waiting

What to do when you are waiting...Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for a sign. Waiting for a voice to whisper something. Anything. Just a whisper. What do you do? Write. Read. Sing. Run. Work. Dance. Sit. Do you sit? Do you wait idly or do you take action knowing that the time will just …

Mirrors

Self-Identity Look in the mirror. Who do you see? How do you see yourself? Are you defined by what you do, or what you have, or where you grew up? Do you use certain words to describe yourself? Do you let others define who you are, how you see yourself, or what you do? In …

Slippery Slope

Sometimes it feels like I am sliding backwards a bit. My feet are trying to grip ice, failing to find footing and just staying in the same place. I thought I was progressing, growing, and finding my footing on solid ground, and then I freeze. I feel it come over me. I shiver.  I am …

On the Road Again

Driving: my chill time, my reflection time, roll down the windows, sing, and just go. Never turning down the radio to hear how horrible I sound, but either singing at the top of my lungs, listening in silence, or just driving in silence. Drive. Forward. Fast. Free. When life feels like too much, I get …

Murky Waters

Dealing with any mental health issue can be like trudging through murky waters. Everything looks cloudy and you, no matter how hard you try and how many different ways you look at it, cannot make out anything concrete. You can't see the life in the waters below, the tops of your feet, or any sign of …

The Phases of Focus

Physical. Mental. Spiritual. These are the three phases I have observed myself going through starting when I was in high school. Obsessions about weight, nutrition, and fitness turned into mental health work with OCD/anxiety/depression treatment, which turned into spiritual healing and mindfulness. I found myself switching from tennis, basketball, and soccer to crossfit and consistent …